I have nothing to blog much.
Nothing interesting.
But I guess this post will be just a mere expression,
a simple confession,
of what I've been feeling these few days.
Oh, correction, *these few weeks,
I should say. =(

everything has really changed.
it has been quite a few days.
and my mobile remains silent.
not even a single beep.
not even a single HI like how it used to be.
no more crapping arounds.
its a real nothing, now.
oh how I miss some moments back then.

the moments of reporting what you're doing.
the moments of knowing whether that someone is doing fine, or otherwise.
oh where did I go wrong?

the fact that people say,
"dont let someone be a priority in our life when we are still option in their life",
wonders me alot.
what if that someone has really become part of your life?
can you just put them aside, away from your life?

is it so wrong to just tell the truth.
is that why someone is as if refraining.
I wouldnt mind any of their response.
I just hope they would still remain as my bestfriend, just like how, they used to say, almost everytime.

its just a week away and sch reopens.
just ONE week away and it feels like a millions years away.
I just need to keep myself busy,
with new bomabstic modules,
I would really want to tire myself.

seeing Siti Khadijah, a classmate of mine,
getting 4.0 flat for her last semester's exam..
It envies me alot.
Please. I wish for it, too.
COngrats girl,
YOU JUST GAVE ME KINDA INSPIRATION TO STRUGGLE A LITTLE MORE HARDER.

Oh well..
Its the end of my semester break.
Oh my. My holidays had never been better than just okay.
My holidays just cant seem to be special, as special as I have always wished for.

Things at home are getting worst, I should say.
I know I shouldnt let it out here,
but its just a mere expression,
that deep inside Im real down with every single thing that is happening around me.
Be it there, or here.
It seems of not much difference.
I am left helpless, almost everytime,
seeing some things happen without knowing of what to do,
to clear things out,
so that we'll have our happy family back.

a year more to go,
thinking of the scholarship in brunei,
knocks my head every single minute.
Im still indecisive,
and I left my parents wondering what my decision would be.
I do realise that I'd lose nothing if I head there.
But Im just a normal girl, with lotsa of desire, still.
Im just caught in between.

And I find it so hard moving on without some of the lovely people called BESTFRIENDS around me.
It is as if we are so so far apart.
It is as if im living with memories.
I miss them,
understanding me in all situations,
being by my side, thru days and nights,
oh why do I have to be far away from them?..

I miss everything in my past.
I miss my old life.
I miss the old me.

Its true that as time passes, we cant really expect things to remain the same..
but why does thing have to be so complicated now?

*blankly sitting alone at one corner *