Wonders.

I just feel like typing. Oh well. I've just browsed few of my juniors' pages and was shocked to see the differences in them now. Those kids during the year 2003, are now grown up girls, and I can simply say, they are hot babes, now. Those primary school kids who always cried everytime they reached school at 12.45 pm, and always "kakak" here and there, are now different person, whom I've nvr seen them for quite a some time. I was excited to "meet" one of my adopted sister during my primary and secondary school days on FB. Could still remember of how she was damn sad the moment I told her, I was going to shift to Malaysia, and I still keep the card she gave me, stating her address, asking me to keep in touch with her, as well as asking my new address and stuffs. But it's different now. Time has changed. People changed, too. Right? The way she replied to my messages as if I'm just a nobody, ckp kenal...tapi act sumpah mcm tak kenal lgsg, anddddd me? I was like so happy to see her. Gah. Too bad.

Surprisingly, that particular girl and most of her friends are all "in a relationship" as what is stated in FB. oh how time flies, they have now reached that kind of stage. Not that I'm jealous. But I just feel awkward to see people as young as my brother's age, or even younger, seem to be SO SERIOUS, SO COMMITTED to be in a relationship, talking about MARRIAGE and ELDERLY stuffs. It sounds funny, isn't it?. Even me myself am super scared of being close to a guy.. I wonder what do these boys and girls have in their mind right now.

Though I've never been in a serious relationship with a guy before, but this issue scares me to the core.. Kak Yan's and Kak Yanie's case are just more than enough. Dorang yang mengalami, aku yang jadi fobia. Oh well. Guys are unpredictable. We can never read what is exactly on their mind, how are they exactly feeling, what are they expecting from us, and so on. So was my experience. Been admiring someone for more than 2 years, as he has never failed to please me, sampai aku put on hopes, way too high..but too bad my so-called-love was not reciprocated. The moment when I start to realise the stupidity in me, waiting for such a guy, and was about to 'accept' another someone, I was indeed damn late. He's ongoing with her. Oh well. I'm thinking positive anyway.. I'm still young. 18 is just SO young, to have dwell on such things. Kannn.. (: I believe in faith. I believe in HIM. He knows what's the best for me, and I bet there's so much more awaiting me, in the future.

Sometimes we tend to keep in mind every single says of others.. Be it a positive one, or negative. I do understand such feelings, in which I, too, could still remember of how a someone said that no one can ever see any future with me. But I'm giving myself chances to get to know the world better, to get to know more people around me. Being close with a guy can sometimes lighten up your days. Especially being with one who really understands you, one who is there by your side every now and then, one who really accepts you the way you are. But does it mean, we are actually falling for that someone?..or is it just because of the comfort that we get from both sides?..It is vague. So vague. And it will forever remain the way it is, if we dont ever have the courage to assure what's on our mind. There's nothing we could do than going on with the flow and just chill. We should not let ourselves putting on high hopes, or let others to put hopes on us.

As for me. Yes, I'm still way too young but I hv never take things easy especially when it comes to relationship thingy. If I were to be in a relationship, I swear I'll sustain it till the right time comes, and that unknown particular he, will always be my betrothed, the only one in life(: *wah berangan* xD Oh well. How I wish to have someone like that, too.

If it's meant to be, then it is. If he's the one, then he'll be.

But as for now, I dont wish to have a special boyfriend in life, I wish for a true loyal friend by my side (:

Pens down,

good night.