am i that bad?

I have been so busy with school and I'm damn tired.

Assignments give a big headache as they are still undone.

Schedule is just so packed, and time is as if so limited,

restricting me to have the time for assignments.

Lack of sleep and rest makes me miserable during the day.

My *yawnn*s are just countless.

Feeling a bit feverish right now.

Been coughing for few days,

runny nose, irritates me alot.

Weather is uncertain.

And, I'm jusssssttt exhausted.

I just wish to have a rest,

but I cant.

School works, and my own personal problems have been keeping me awake almost 24/7.

Its true that I'm feeling much better now..

Without them by my side.

But somehow, problems are just everywhere..

I'm now closed to a friend, whom I've just known..

But somehow others tend to think bad of me, and my 2 cliques.

Its true that we are superkecoh.

But serious shit, WE ARE DAMN friendly.

Afterall, we are all coursemates, or I can simply say, classmates..

So why should we be so asabiah?

We are not that type of person, I tell you.

We are not gedik.

We dont talk dirty to guys,

like how some decent-looking girls do behind our back.

That new friend of mine,

I just love being friend with her.

But the way others think bad about us,

irritates me.

You have ur own clique before,

and we have never influenced you to be with us.

I'm just being myself.

And all my so-called styles, are just my own style.

I wonder what's so great about "being me",

the way she dressed up this afternoon, made me stunned.

The moment I looked at her, was as if I was staring at my own reflection in the mirror.

And the way she reacts, has changed alot.

Her old clique seems to be startled.

And they all look a bit unsatisfied, is it all because of us?, or perhaps, me?

Another friend of mine says,

"ika, awak ni bwk influence pade org"

Sumpah, this is just my style,

and I have never expected people to be like me.

It is somehow great to be such an idol,

I dont really mind,

but somehow it can be painful at times.

Her boo stared at us just now as if we've done something wrong,

and I can surely guess the reason why.

Lemme tell ya here,

Its her choice to be that way.

Its her choice to be with us.

I have never ever influenced her, neither did I instigate, in any way.

Whats so bad about us?

Ayn Hani and I.

Just because we are kecoh and people tend to think that we are so badd.

We are just being ourselves,

We arent hypocrites I mind you.

Now I'm just scared of being closed to anybody.

Trust no one. Thats it.

I just wish they know the other side of me.

Rather than just judging me, from the way I am right now.

1st impression plays an important role.

I do realise that.

But hey, we are friends arent we?

And we've been friends for almost 2 years,

but you people can never try to understand,

and can never try to even appreciate the bond.

I appreciate and LOVE YOU all like alottt,

But all you know is ckp kat belakang.

Do I have to change to be friends with you people?

Do I have to be hypocrites too?

Hmm..cummon lets think positive,

perhaps I deserve to have better friends. Heh.

I'm sick of thinking of these things.

I'm just trying to strive hard to get that magical 4.0 for this coming February(:

Oh my 1 and a half year more to go! Whooo!

I end it here,

no more tears.