to my old-self

everything seems so wrong. i just couldnt sleep well. something keep bothering mind and i just couldnt let myself to bring up the matter. the thought of it is disturbing my days and i'm sick of it.

i take shahrum's words , "think positive, and sabar."

i've been educating myself with the greatest patience i'v never endured before. for Allah is always with me, i shall not be so down..

but im just a normal human being with lotsa weaknessess..i just feel not-needed. SO not-needed. so not-appreciated, so not-being-cared. so not-being-recognised. statue?. thats me now, perhaps.

just cant wait to be back home on march. i just wanna be free from any of these. thinking positive all the time, pleasing others too much, can sometimes be a pressure, tho i know it wont cause any harm. (for Allah will reward us with his blessing)..

im changing myself to the better. whether im needed or otherwise, i really SHOULD not dwell on it too much.. im now taking few stepss back. being outshone?. nope. im not. not anymore. =(

im changing myself to my old-self. i really am. it will be better that way.

just dont bother when you dont care.